This is what it’s like:
I’m laying down on the ground, looking up at the sky.
It’s the blackest night sky, the deepest dark I have ever experienced.
Nothing breaks the darkness that surrounds me. I can’t see myself. I can’t see the world around me. I don’t know where I am.
I am scared.
How did I even get here. Knocked on the ground. Looking up at the darkest sky. Where am I. Where do I go. How did I get here. How do I get out.
And then, it happened.
First one twinkle, then another.
“I’m praying for you Amy”
Then more stars show up.
“I did Ardaas for the first time, for you”
“Your are in my thoughts and prayers”
“I’m thinking of you, I love you”
More light, I can make out the outline of my hand.
“I love you so much friend, I am praying for you”
I can see my feet now, just barely, I can make out the outline of things around me.
“Buckle up girl, I have a whole gospel choir singing for you, we got you covered”
More dots of light, they are showing up, one after another. I can’t keep track.
“My friend in India is chanting for you”
I can see things now, it’s not dark, just dim.
“Over a thousand people did Naam Simran in your name”
“I’m praying for you always beti”
“We did Ardaas at the Gurudwara for you”
I get up and look around, the darkness lifting on the world around me. What started as one light are now countless points of light. Lighting up my sky. Lighting up my world. They just keep coming and coming. One after the other.
I shield my eyes from the glow. The points of light are blazing. I can barely make out the dark backdrop now. I see constellations and shapes. I see myself and where I am. I get my bearings – I know where I am! I know where I am!
I am loved.
I realize now, I wouldn’t have been able to experience the beautiful blazing light, had the sky not been so dark. So I thank the darkness for showing me the light.
Here is the thing about my experience. It has not only changed me, it’s changed you.
For you to break open your heart for me and whisper to the Divine on my behalf, it not only heals me, it heals you to. It shifts you too. So too your soul seeks connection to divinity.
I offer my own light in return. And in return I break open my own heart and whisper my own prayers to all of you and to Waheguru:
Thank you…. Thank you… Thank you…